I hate your kids and their stupid faces - A guest post.

Things are a little hectic post vacation. Sooooo my friend and hilariballz amiga, MCB is helping a biotch out. I love her rye observations on America's youth. They literally have been handed the tools to be creative, irreverent and empowered. And what do they do with these tools? (A video camera when were we kids) And we're off to go coning....
This is what we used to video taped events in the 1980's.


I’m a 28 year old junior in college. Yes, I know. You don’t have to say it. Just keep your eyebrow raised for the rest of the post. So here I am quietly trying to finally finish my degree, and the people around me are anywhere from 6-10 years my junior. Needless to say it’s provided interesting insight into the psyche of generation … hmm, I’m not sure what generation these troglodytes are a part of. I stopped keeping track.

So I’m sitting in my mass communication class, and the professor announces we are to begin research on our informative speeches. In my head I’m thinking: Ha, I’ve already got my topic. I’m ready to go, sister! I immediately decided upon hearing the assignment to cover the Tunguska Event, which is a phenomenon that occurred in Sibera in the early 1900s that looks as if it were a nuclear blast. Clearly, the atomic bomb had not been invented yet… so how could that happen? Interesting, right?

Then, the roof caves in. My professor stipulates that not only must it be informative, it must also be a topic which the rest of the class will find interesting. Ugh, well, that obviously eliminates the Tunguska Event. I guess I need to change my topic to Jersey Shore.

Suddenly, a man child in my classroom leaps for Jesus and announces that he’s got the perfect idea for his informative. “CONING!” he exclaims. A group of his companions sitting around him laugh. The professor and I, and most of the rest of the class, are left with a questioning look on our faces.

Professor: Coning? Like as in cones? Like traffic cones?

Manchildstudent: No, like ice cream cones. What you do, is you go to a fast food place through the
drive thru and order an ice cream cone. THEN when the server gives you the cone you grab it by the ice cream end, and eat it. YOU HAVE TO EAT IT RIGHT THERE!!!

He then looks around for laughter, which doesn’t come.

Professor: So you just eat it? And, that’s it?

Manchildstudent: Yeah, but like, it’s super funny because you grab it by the ICE CREAM. NOT BY THE CONE. OH! And you have to keep a straight face! And have someone there to video it! YOU HAVE TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE OR IT DOESN’T COUNT!

The rest of the class, barring the group of friends immediately surrounding him, looks as if they want to bang their heads on their desks. Myself included. Is this REALLY what college students are doing these days? Yep, apparently it is.


Christ, even Justin Bieber is doing it.



1 comment:

  1. Oh gawd. I just died a little inside.

    The Anonymous Renee