I hate your kids and their stupid faces - A guest post.

Things are a little hectic post vacation. Sooooo my friend and hilariballz amiga, MCB is helping a biotch out. I love her rye observations on America's youth. They literally have been handed the tools to be creative, irreverent and empowered. And what do they do with these tools? (A video camera when were we kids) And we're off to go coning....
This is what we used to video taped events in the 1980's.


I’m a 28 year old junior in college. Yes, I know. You don’t have to say it. Just keep your eyebrow raised for the rest of the post. So here I am quietly trying to finally finish my degree, and the people around me are anywhere from 6-10 years my junior. Needless to say it’s provided interesting insight into the psyche of generation … hmm, I’m not sure what generation these troglodytes are a part of. I stopped keeping track.

So I’m sitting in my mass communication class, and the professor announces we are to begin research on our informative speeches. In my head I’m thinking: Ha, I’ve already got my topic. I’m ready to go, sister! I immediately decided upon hearing the assignment to cover the Tunguska Event, which is a phenomenon that occurred in Sibera in the early 1900s that looks as if it were a nuclear blast. Clearly, the atomic bomb had not been invented yet… so how could that happen? Interesting, right?

Then, the roof caves in. My professor stipulates that not only must it be informative, it must also be a topic which the rest of the class will find interesting. Ugh, well, that obviously eliminates the Tunguska Event. I guess I need to change my topic to Jersey Shore.

Suddenly, a man child in my classroom leaps for Jesus and announces that he’s got the perfect idea for his informative. “CONING!” he exclaims. A group of his companions sitting around him laugh. The professor and I, and most of the rest of the class, are left with a questioning look on our faces.

Professor: Coning? Like as in cones? Like traffic cones?

Manchildstudent: No, like ice cream cones. What you do, is you go to a fast food place through the
drive thru and order an ice cream cone. THEN when the server gives you the cone you grab it by the ice cream end, and eat it. YOU HAVE TO EAT IT RIGHT THERE!!!

He then looks around for laughter, which doesn’t come.

Professor: So you just eat it? And, that’s it?

Manchildstudent: Yeah, but like, it’s super funny because you grab it by the ICE CREAM. NOT BY THE CONE. OH! And you have to keep a straight face! And have someone there to video it! YOU HAVE TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE OR IT DOESN’T COUNT!

The rest of the class, barring the group of friends immediately surrounding him, looks as if they want to bang their heads on their desks. Myself included. Is this REALLY what college students are doing these days? Yep, apparently it is.


Christ, even Justin Bieber is doing it.




You are Not Alone - Other People Hate :D

Look, it feels good to know you're not alone. That's why we listen to slow jams about break ups, etc.  So when I asked a friend to guest post I was super excited to see they also hated on several blogs. And by "hate" I mean feel jealous about others funny and interesting blogs.

So, with that I bring you a great blog hate from "Hate so Hard" Jason Hensel....a fabulous friend, smart writer and generally SUper DUper funny and interesting...READ HIS BLOG DAMN YOU.


What do you do for lunch? 

If you’re like me, you round up a couple of co-workers, passports in hand, and head to DQ country where you proceed to order the four-piece steak finger basket combo finished off with an Hawaiian Blizzard. Then you return to work vowing never to do that again for the rest of the year. But Monday comes around, and what the hell, it’s back to DQ country. Anything is better than sitting at your desk.

Or you could be like Mr. Paul Debraski and read at lunch. And listen to cool albums. And then come back and write well thought-out reviews of what you just read and heard.

I hate you Mr. Debraski. I hate you so hard.

You know what I see when I visit your blog, “I Just Read About That...”? I see a big, lazy-ass reading it and wishing he would choose his time more wisely. I see a guy who wakes up every day with the best of intentions, only to come home in the afternoon and walk around his back yard, staring up at the trees, wondering when those two pomegranates will be ripe to pick.

God, I sound pathetic. That’s why I hate your blog Mr. Debraski. It’s just too damn good. It makes the rest of bloggers and writers and dreamers face a side of ourselves we’d rather not see.

So, please keep up the good work so I can know my shortcomings. Because like the immortal Joan Jett says, “I hate myself for loving you.”http://www.pimplomat.com/


It's not all Haterade, people.

Sometimes I wish I would have named the blog something more positive. Don't like the idea that the word HATE is in the blog I write. But whatever. Know what I mean? I like, LOVE a lot of things.

I like this blog. It's real. And pretty. And she's not perfect. How original? Enjoy a few pages of this with your morn coffee. LOVE, IHYB


I am a woman in love

....and I'll do anything....to get you into my wooooorld. It's the riiiiiiiiiight .....Sorry, I got lost in a Bababa Streisand song.

I love this amazing project.

Awesome 1985 TV. Amazing decore *so far*. Amazing abs. Wait. What?

I literally am on the edge of my *flabby butt* seat each Tuesday waiting to see what's next...as should you....

Read this for the story. Then, watch this now please cause it's totally amazballz. And let's love for a bit...


Guest Post - Hell Yeah!

The freaking hilarious Miss Etsy Stalker will be hating today...

Hi. Hiya. It’s Julie guest posting over here from Etsy Stalkers. Never heard of me? Rudddde.

Anyhooo, have you folks heard of Catalog Living? Of course you have. EVERYONE reads Catalog Living. Why? Because it’s funny, clever and brilliant. In short, I hate it.

Catalog living takes your everyday pics from your favorite Pottery Barn, West Elm, etc. catalogs and pokes fun at them. I mean hellllooo, why didn’t we all think of that? Of course this blog has over 28,000 followers and is written by Molly, a Los Angeles-based actor, writer, and comedian. Awesome, she’s not only super funny and successful on the interwebs, she’s also fabulous in real life.

Molly also happens to be the super funny chick in the Sonic commercials. Biaaaaatch.
I hate her and I hate her blog. And by that I mean I totally want to be her when I grow up. Call me.

Now, here's something you'll enjoy :) [from IHYB]



Hummmm, do I love this or hate this?

It's a blog feature where they take a OUTFIT OF THE DAY and turn it into a child outfit. I can't tell if this is terrible or totally cute and ironic and funny.

When I read the bio, me thinks it's not ironic.

I mean, are we really blogging about kids fashions, Mom? Really? It's not hard enough being a kid and a Mom these days? Wow.

This will keep you busy

I haven't had time to go super duper through it, but it's a blog of the dumb shit people do in blog form. Check it...I would add starting a blog to that list, too...


Fashion Shmashion

Who needs to feel bad about their fashion sense today? YOU DO.

It's this, meets this, meets her. And she's being featured on some new show or something about fashion or something. And she's got cool hair that would look trashy on me. And her blog is CREATED BY...

I'm wearing Gap, TJ Maxxxxxx, and DSW today, FYI.


Yes, I hate your blog.

Let's go a quick catch-up on why I hate your blog, their blog, people who say Blogosphere, etc:

1. You (Bloggers) are just like me and you. You just got lucky.
2. Your timing on blogging was great. You were early and fast to the game.
3. You know Photoshop.
4. You know a little HTML. 
5. You started your blog with a compelling and relatable topic, but now, all you blog about is your hectic life as a blogger.
6. You got a book deal.
7. You quit your job.
8. Your husband/wife then quit their job, so they could help run the blog.
9. You created a media empire, by accident maehehehHHEHEHEHEHEHEH hhhaaahahahah....so clever!
10. ...help me out people ....fill in the blank....


The DIYers Continued

Remember these F-ers?

The perfect DIYers who started blogging about fixing up their old house? And they got sooooo famous they had to buy a new house, so they could fix it up, and blog about it? Yeah, of COURSE YOU DO.

So they have their own collection on Joss & Main tomorrow. I'm sure they are making like a decent % of every sale. So go ahead, buy something.

On an up note, I did kinda finish the kids room. Ten months later, but who cares? Seriously, who?

I'll probs buy that mirror and a pillow. Or two.  Have I mentioned how much I hate bloggers? Pfsssssss.


The baby blogger

Ugh. Here we go again. Feel depressed on a Monday? How about this....

Tavi is making us all feel like the Gen X slackers we are.
This adorbz and intelligent gal is like 15 and has her own blogging/fashion empire. She's funny, articulate and not pretentious. Kinda. She's really cute, but it is generally annoying to be reading stuff from a teenager that is funnier then your own material. And she was born the year I graduated from COLLEGE.

I don't even understand 90% of the blog because it's so fashion forward. (Me today: wearing my full on Marshall's party cardi, teacher capri pants, DSW sandals. Can't you just see it? Fuuuukc yeah)
Style Rookie? I think not.

I heard her on NPR this weekend. Yeah, she's being interviewed on Weekend Edition. What did you do this weekend?

Check out her blog, or her new project magazine thing, decipher for me, and get back to me. Thanks.


How to be a Blogger Bajillionaire Tip

Here's a tip on becoming a famous blogger.

Know Photoshop. Learn how to "bloggerize" "etsyize" "food porn ize" those photos, people.

There are sold out classes in Portland and Williamsburg specifically to teach babybloggers how to Photoshop the shit out of their pics.

Look, this is how.